Marriage, if the insanity was not present; a married man’s perspective on why it sucks right now.

Okay, so knowing what you know about divorce statistics, you went like a dumb-ass and married anyways.  It’s all good baby, I feel ya, but let’s compare a little check list shall we?  Just be patient, this will be a two part series, and will not remotely cover everything you will need to know.  Here goes some decent guidelines to follow:

1. American or Expat Express: 

American, you chose a guaranteed loss should she choose to dump you for new dick!  If you choose this, grab a gun, and put yourself out of your misery; the rest of this is not for you!  LOL

Expat Express (foreign hotty), depending on where she is from it could mean the same as above (Aussie, European-West, Japanese (really screwed if she wants you gone); I highly recommend South Asia (India/Sri Lanka), South-East Asia, some of the more third world Latin American countries, Eastern European (They don’t want to go back to communist thinking).  Be advised though, this is no guarantee.  Many foreign hotties are highly educated as compare to their American “counterparts” and still have some feminist teachings that will have to be worked through!

2. How much of a man are you? 

Now, I know what you are thinking-What is this asshole’s problem, I am a man, and I get more chicks than Charlie Sheen ever did, pre or post crazy. 

Look that is not what I am asking!  Women from these countries I recommend have a very different culture, outlook on life, expectations, usually different religious beliefs (obvious problem for most of us), concept of what a man is and is not’ These all have a dynamic influence on her decision about you.  Going in “half-cocked” is not the right answer, you get my drift now?  No matter how manly you are, or at least think you are, you will need to learn how to speak her language, her non verbal language.  You cannot go there with an American mindset and just assume she will let you get in those panties.  She will subtly throw you away before you even approach.

Also, being able to bed a lot of women here, does not translate well to a lot of women there!  Some of the more Westernized, and Western educated from these countries sure; I am not naïve, but you are avoiding women like that.  Don’t be fooled into thinking that these countries do not have their throwbacks. 

Now, I know what a PUA would say, but I am trying to tell you why they are so popular right now.  Marriage sucks for men, and possibly for a long time into the foreseeable future.  Get with the program; if you really want marriage with someone who is so different than you, no matter the degree of difference, you have to adjust!  You can always PUA forever, but honestly, I don’t think many men will want that until death do they part.  I could be wrong, but history seems to tell me otherwise…

3.  Do you move her to your home, or decided to live in her country?

New Japanese wife prepping for her amry hubby’s lets go to my country speach.  LOL

This is one of the biggest discussions you will have.  Americans are easy in most cases, they may want to come home and live a few years, but most (especially men) Americans who marry foreign are fairly comfortable staying overseas.  For example, Japanese women when taken away from Japan can be very difficult!  The Japanese have a borderline obsessive love of their “Land.”  Take her away from that and her family deprives her of a unique existence that many cultures do not have a comparison to.  If you don’t know, live there, or ask somebody.  You may have problems whether your bride-to-be is Japanese or not.

Also, don’t get too offended when, not if, she stubbornly refuses to leave with you for the USA; even if it is just a few years.  You can most likely convince her, and after a few years here, she may start to like it.  Be prepared, this will take some work on your part.  Just this once, it partially is your ob to make her haaaaaaaaappy, DON’T MAKE A HABIT OF IT PANSY!  You can take the foreign spouse away from her culture, country, and way of life; but you can’t take all that out of your foreign spouse.  Learn to recognize, and appreciate the differences, your marriage can be rewarding when you do.

4.  You are the “effin” New Guy! (Don’t think just because you are American that people over there care!)

May I suggest latin dancing?  LOL, don’t mess up.

Have you ever dealt with a foreign exchange student?  I have, several times, and they just “love it” when you make fun of their accent.  Actually, most hate it; however I got a taste of my own medicine living overseas.  I was the FNG there, and I had sexy little women beg me to speak their language so they could hear my “accent.”  Men made fun of me too, when I butchered a word.   Friend of mine even got me to stand on a chair and say “I love it in the ass” while drunk.  Yeah, he’s an a-hole, love him to death though; bitch-ass does not even give a reach around.  Just pointed and laughed!  Asshole.  LOL

Basically, what I am saying is, be patient when you go overseas.  Drink, eat, and apply yourself to learning their customs.  So when you do take your girl out of her “home turf,” she has someone who can give her a little slice of home.

*Will do another post on this later, digest this for now*